Actions vs words

Actions do speak louder than words. This last week has shown me the truth of that.

I just need the words to confirm. I expect I will be told I am over reacting and have got it all wrong again, but if so, I will know it for lie. There must be a basis for the action.

It has been an interesting week. Avoidance, rejection, stress causing, cancellation, general aggrivation. Culminating in Sunday.

My friend made a commitment to the most important decision of his life, he asked his she to become his wife. Now I knew this was coming, it was just a case of when. He also told me he planned to let me know beforehand. Not that I expected him to actually say anything to me prior the deed. But I did think that I would have been told.


They and friends came around on Sunday. I found out that he asked on Saturday, others were told, these friends were told. How did I find out? The other girl told me to look at the ring on hand when she finally could not cope with the fact that no one was telling me.

I do not expect to be told of every step in the lives of others. But I would have thought I would have been given at least one word. But no. Not one single word said then or since. From he. She? A few words after, even giving me some credit for it happening. Which is nice. But am I really that scary? I do not think so, for I now believe they invited themselves around so I could be told. So why was I not?

This wound runs deep. I joke, get sympathy and understanding from others but I still hurt.

I have asked for a while as to what my place is. As blind as I am, even I can no longer deny that I have now been shown.